I did quite a bit of thinking today. (YES, she thinks) And I've come to realise that I've never actually been in love. Yeah, I most definitely thought I was (too many times) but they were all just super mutated infatuations. I'm not kidding.
I witnessed my best friend's heart crumble to pieces in front of my very eyes. I knew then I was never in love. My heart broke many times, yes, but they depth of *her wound was more than what I had ever endured. (Every heartbreak combined) I'd like to think that it hurt more for *her than me because I'm stronger. But God knows I'm not. I just never let anyone fully into my heart. Come to think of it, that's probably the smartest thing I've done.
It isn't worth giving your heart to someone who isn't capable of taking care of it. Why put yourself through such emotional turmoil? Especially when there is the choice of just kicking back and focusing on what's important.
I'll be very honest here, I'm actually in a very happy place right now. No, I don't have a boyfriend (I've realised that I don't need one. How I came to the conclusion is a whole other blog entry) I'm just in content with my life. I have wonderful friends, the most amazing best friends who love me enough, and of course my super awesome family. I really don't know what else to ask for right now.
[Dear God, I still want to have the sickest body anyone has ever seen.]
Unfortunately, my joy decreased a little after seeing the sorrow in my bestie's eyes. How could I be happy when *she's so sad? I just wish I could give *her what *she wants (in this case, who *she wants) so we could BOTH be happy. Yeah...I can't do that. I'll tell you what I will do though. I'll help *her pick up the pieces and all that, duh...but most importantly, I'll show *her how happiness is possible without your heart being occupied. (*She claims *she knows...urghh such a know-it-all...but I'll show *her)
So yeah, after seeing *her condition, and my other buddy's too... I've concluded that S.P.I peeps are just super emo. They're so emo that they have no clue what emo is. THAT's how emo they are. They sound like a very bad remake of a One Tree Hill-Grey's Anatomy combo. (Tree Hill's Anatomy) Like pffffttttt.
